Вицове на чужди езици

[turtey]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

приходит путин к Ванге и спрашивает
- скажи что будет через 10 лет??
- ти введёш войска в Украину
- так это я знаю, Ты лутше скажи по чем будет пиво в москве???
та отвечет, задумчиво:
- так 5 - 6 гривен)))

[tef4o]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

приходит путин к Ванге и спрашивает
- скажи что будет через 10 лет??
- ти введёш войска в Украину
- так это я знаю, Ты лутше скажи по чем будет пиво в москве???
та отвечет, задумчиво:
- так 5 - 6 гривен)))

Търтьо ... т'ва да не си го преписвал от Слави Трифонов бре?

[turtey]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Търтьо ... т'ва да не си го преписвал от Слави Трифонов бре?

Нье, от един съвеЦки сайт
А ако г-н Трифонов се е подвизавал там - не знам

[droba]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Я каква тема! А поговорки може ли
Шукар бори, кар мангел, парни драсни, дром мангел.

[Chinela]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Я каква тема! А поговорки може ли
Шукар бори, кар мангел, парни драсни, дром мангел.

Може, ама ако модераторите са израснали като мен в Коньовица, лошо ти се пише....

И за да не съм голословен, ето и една от мен.

"Който нанай бути, нанай те хас маро"
Ово вакергяс, Гошо Димитров.

[slowtraveler]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

[green]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.

Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.

A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."

The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass."

[Сианга]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

[green]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing'
'What do they say?' the priest asked.
They say, 'Hi, we're Hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.....
'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible...
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...
that phrase... in no time.'

'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying...

Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them...
After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence...

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!

[ittso]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front of your car; Oversteet is when you hit the wall with the rear. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall, and torque is how far you take the wall with you.

[green]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work in my Volvo 1800 leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila



Dear Sheila: An 1800 stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum lines and hoses on the in-take manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

-Walter

[swartalf]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

[turtey]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

После приземления авиалайнера, совершающего рейс "Ницца-Челябинск", в салоне раздаются не аплодисменты, а плач.

[the shaman]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

После приземления авиалайнера, совершающего рейс "Ницца-Челябинск", в салоне раздаются не аплодисменты, а плач.

Предполагам по същия начин по който аз ревах със сълзи като кацнах в София идвайки от Мюнхен през 1987 г.

[Absolut]

От: Вицове на чужди езици

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